You are what you eat! We’ve all heard the motto, but have you exploited it? What if I told you there was a way to hack Google and all you had to do was feed GoogleBot the perfect diet? It might sound crazy, but if you feed Google’s hungry robot the tastiest snacks, you’ll be rewarded with fame, fortune and success.
You might even be given the right to breed in a post-apocalyptic future run by cyborgs.
Step 1 – Setup a Website
Unfortunately GoogleBot does not eat traditional foods. In order to take control of this powerful robot you must register a website.
Think of your website as a spoon full of pudding. Yes, your website is the key to harnessing GoogleBots power.
Need help setting up a website? Contact me. What better way for an Evil Overlord to recruit new minions than by helping them setup their own internet fortress? Plus, if I offer you my assistance now for free, maybe I can sell you something in the future.
Brilliant plan as usual.
I’m on a tight budget, can’t I just feed it cheeseburgers?
Do you honestly think cheeseburgers will help you hack Google? If only it were that simple…
Cheeseburgers will help you achieve world domination, but they won’t help you hack GoogleBot. Cheeseburgers are great if you combine them with funny looking cats and even better for secret vaccine distribution. If you want to hack Google, you need to know GoogleBots favorite foods. Unfortunately it’s not cheeseburgers.
Give GoogleBot what it wants and you shall be rewarded.
Ok, so what does GoogleBot eat?
GoogleBot is a giant robot (and I mean huge!) that Google keeps hidden in a secret laboratory. Its only purpose is to enslave humanity via ranked indexing of the internet. What does this mean? It means for now GoogleBot is happy eating websites. The time will come when GoogleBot eats our brains via neuron networks, but that’s another story. Granted, that would make finding memories much faster…
Hold on, GoogleBot plans to eat my website!?
Exactly! GoogleBot is going to eat your website whether you like it or not. I know you’re thinking, “Holy sh*t, I worked hard on that site”, but don’t worry, GoogleBot doesn’t physically eat your website. That would be ridiculous. GoogleBot simply consumes your content.
If you are what you eat, then GoogleBot is what it eats. Since you control your website, you control what GoogleBot eats.
The logical conclusion is that you now control GoogleBot. Well actually, you control GoogleBots diet. … If you want to control GoogleBot, you still need to learn the right recipe.
What recipe will give me control over GoogleBot?
Feed GoogleBot search engine optimization. GoogleBot cannot resist SEO.
SEO is the art of feeding crawlers like GoogleBot the right recipes to make them work for you! If thats not cool, I don’t know what is! Interested in finding out more? Check out the SEO blog from the experts.
By gaining control of GoogleBot, you can re-direct highways of traffic to your website. Remember when I promised you fame? Guess what, you just acquired an audience. You’re famous.
All you need to do is master the SEO recipe.
Brilliant! Teach me some SEO so I can conquer the universe!
Are you ready for fame, fortune and success? If so, you need to begin by arming yourself with the best SEO tools. Remember, you’re not the only one who wants a piece of GoogleBot…
The tools are great – just like an airplane is a great tool for travel. But, if you’re not a pilot, the only way an airplane is useful is if you have a ticket. The good news is that learning SEO is much simpler than aviation school. There are tons of SEO Blogs, just search Google!
If you’re not sure where to get started with SEO, Ask me, or get professional SEO assistance.
Which SEO recipe will give me the most control over GoogleBot?
Just like cooking is a skill that takes time and practice, search engine optimization is an art you master over time. The content you feed GoogleBot will get tastier and tastier as long as you keep SEO in mind when designing websites, writing content and deciding on titles.
Can you point me to the best SEO Resources to help me get started?
Everybody has their own personal learning preferences. Some people like training, others prefer playing with the tools, reading blogs or watching videos. Whatever your preference, one of the below links are exactly what you are looking for to help get you started conquering the world.
